As useless as a (soon to be hurting) coccyx

While walking through the mall yesterday, a kid in front of me threw an EPIC temper tantrum. It was the kind you see in movies, where the family of four is walking side-by-side, the kid holding his mom’s hand, jumping up and down while begging for something. His mother refuses over and over again until, finally, the kid realizes he has to go to extremes. He relinquishes his mother’s hand, drops to the floor, and begins violently flailing all four limbs while lying on the floor in a public place. As I was walking right behind them, I had to calmly continue walking past, less than a yard from the boy, pretending not to notice and biting my lip so that I wouldn’t burst out laughing. Although I didn’t really throw many public fits when I was younger, I was in GREAT shape. Kind of like this kid. (I smell another Olympic gymnastics age-fixing scandal! Watch out China, you have competition!) But now, four years after the last time I worked out on an even remotely consistent schedule, starting my training for B&B was mildly uncomfortable/awkward. Thankfully my legs aren’t sore, but as an asmatic who has done less cardio than plumped cow, I have the lung capacity of a tadpole. (Please pardon the obscure animal references.) I can only hope I’m in good enough shape to ride 150 miles when I’m older (or even a month from now) as this lady who is 84 and biked that distance for a good cause.

What else happened yesterday? Bike & Build sent us a list of everything we need to get for the trip. My bank account is going to be as empty as the pumpkin on my porch.

Oh, and I found out I won’t really have access to internet on the trip. Meaning this blog is essentially pointless. Sort of like Lindsey Lohan going to rehab, or trying to auction homes in Detroit. (Maybe I’ll just write a novel instead. Draw from a real life experience. Little, uh, little heartbreak, you know? Work it into the story, make those characters a little more three-dimensional. Little, uh, richer experience for the reader. Make those second hundred pages really make the reader guessing what’s going to happen. Some twists and turns. Little epilogue. Everybody learns the hero’s journey isn’t always a happy one. Oohh I look forward to writing it.) In fact, there are so many foreclosed homes in Detroit that one guy is actually going to buy one, demolish it, rebuild it, then freeze it in ice as an artistic commentary on the housing crisis. No better place to do it, I s’pose. Aaaaaaaand I’ll end on that, plus a hilarious link of Ellen scaring Taylor Swift and picture of my friends and I at a charity dinner put on by the amazing Live to Give Foundation.

PS – Coccyx is a fancy name for your tailbone. A useless bone which will most likely hurt after spending 100 miles on a thin bicycle seat.